the vampire journals

caroline

We were ready to move on to the next city to find more to join us. I got the feeling that someone was coming and I was right. We were stuck inside hiding from the sun biding our time, the hunger was getting so bad I wanted to just run right out and feed despite the sun being high. I was pacing and that’s when I felt them, the others were in the basement and I was alone so I opened the door and there stood my friends Cassandra, Vincent, george and sapphire. I was glad to see them but I knew it was a mistake for them to be here and out in the daylight too, if treacle saw them she would know our secret. Cassandra handed me an amulet and I took it with out thinking, once I had it on they grabbed me and sped off away from the house and away from the now angry vampires I could hear them as they realised I was gone. I wanted to return but I also wanted to be free of the pain I still felt. Most of all I wanted to feed. My friends then made the biggest mistake they ever could. They took me to see luca. He was waiting in the woods where we stopped it was far enough away from the others so they would not be able to sense him which kept him safe from them but not from me. The hunger had hold me too tightly. As soon as Vincent and george let me go and I caught the scent of the warm fresh human blood I lost control. I flew forward faster than they could grab me. I knocked away Vincent then sapphire and then I had a hold of the human. My teeth sank into his soft warm skin ripping it easily away from his neck. His hot blood pumping out of the wound fed me and it felt better than I remembered as it filled me up. Once I was done I let his body drop to the ground in a heap and wiped my mouth. It all happened so fast the others were now by my side they stood in silence but I could feel the need in Cassandra for her to feed too she has always struggled to control her thirst for human blood her will is strong though and she took off to feed on some deer near by. Vincent put a hand on my shoulder and just looked at me. He looked down at luca and I followed his gaze, now my hunger had been satisfied I was able to think clearly and that’s when it had struck me what have I done. I took his life my luca was gone if I could cry my eyes would be filled and spilling over. I gave one look to Vincent and he understood, I took off running unable to think to feel. I will be forever alone from now on with the knowledge that I have killed the man I love the man who loved me the man who came so close to a large coven of vampires who would kill him just to save me and ended up being my victim.


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caroline
The days have passed by in a blur and I now find myself back home I have no where else to go. I broke into luca’s dorm room last night and took some of his things so I will have a constant reminder of what I have done what I became. Nosferatus hold on me is gone and the guilt of what I did is tearing me apart, I have not returned to college from now on I will stay away from them only hunting animals when I need to. His blood is wearing off now but I can still feel him in me. Being my companion my soul mate his blood is stronger to me than any other human in existence and will always be a part of me now. I hide away during the day not out of necessity of the danger of the sun but as a prison to hold my shame and guilt I can not be around humans now I have tasted human blood again I don’t want to be a risk to them. I will confine myself in solitude for eternity for luca it in no way makes a mends for what I did but death is easy and free from this pain and I don’t deserve that.
Cassandra and Vincent are coming to visit I feel them it wont be long till they are here, they too must feel shame that they failed so save me without the loss of a human.